Living the good life, the healthy way

something you might not know about me

Publicerad 2013-11-29 14:53:56 i Mind and body,

I am a feminist. No, I do not hate men. No, I do not say that men can't be masculine and women can't be feminine. I'm a feminist when it comes to what roles men and women learn to take. What roles we teach our boys and girls they should have in this society. We deem ourselves to be democratic and developed, but we cannot stand the thought of a man wearing a skirt if he wishes (dear me, he might as well go and KILL someone with that skirt!), or a woman takes up too much media space, have certain opinions and doesn't shave her legs become ridiculed, called ugly, jealous and diminished in as many ways as possible. Because she steals some spotlight minutes away from the men?
Why is it, that in a modern country, where we supports the freedom of choice, find it almost impossible to go into a kids toystore and buy toys for KIDS? What do I mean? I mean that there are almost no toys for kids, because the toys are for girls or boys.
Oh, look! Girls learn from early start that fashion, petting, make-up, child-care and beautiful princesses are for girls only. Girls need to know how to be beautiful, dress well and look after pets and children. Girls learn that their value lies within these qualities. If you are not kind, tender, caring and beautiful, you're worthless!
But boys on the other hand, they play with fortresses (they need to learn to fight and protect!), tools (so they can be the handyman), cars and science. Boys are only worthy if they are tough, handy, strong, protective and curious.
Finally, some toys companies have taken a big step in the right direction, have realised what damage they are doing and have now started to change their shops and catalogs.
Despite hard critisism from various politicians around the world (a french female politician calling the catalog pervert for example), the toy company stand by their choice and that's amazing! It is not until we see these changes in society, until we and the big companies take a stand, we can make a change.
I am a feminist because being "a girl" is an insult. Because being a woman means I will have less salary than man male collegue. Because men can walk away from raping a women without consequences, since she was wearing "too short a skirt" or she was "drunk".
When will society stop blaming the victim of a crime that was committed by someone else? When will we teach our boys that women are NOT their property, NOT there for their desire. Why do we teach girls to be careful to go out in the streets? Why do we teach girls self-defense? It is just like saying "men are animals, men can't control themselves, and they will get away with it too, so you better be careful". Instead we should teach both boys and girls that NOONE is to be touched without consent. Each  girl, boy, woman, man and everyone in between have the right to their own bodies. We owe noone nothing. No matter what I choose to wear, I never "ask for it".
But yeah, I guess it makes sense that a woman wearing a short skirt thought to herself "I want to get raped tonight, so I will wear this". No. Just no. Anyone can wear anything they want - for whatever reasons they have - they are not asking to be sexually harassed or raped. Never.
But you know, boys will be boys, and you should cover up or you will have to put up with it. Boys will be boys and it is their right to touch you wherever they want, whenever they want even if you say no. Boys will be boys, and how dare you say no to them, because they oughta learn that they own the world and you are just a sexual object.
This argument is just another way for patriarchy to remain power. Blame the victim.
We are all so carfully molded into stereotypes, made to believe that the world needs "its' balance" (what balance? the one where women get abused and dimished while men get glorified and praised?), tought to fulfill our roles as men and women, that we become blind to what really matters.
I do not want my children to grow up having to change who they are so they can fit into the expected gender roles. I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking she has to be pretty (and dumb) to be socially worthy. I do not want my son to believe he'll be "a girl/pussy" if he likes animals, cooking or caring. That he is worthless unless he is brutal and tough.
I do not want my children to grow up in a world where they will be socially punished (bullying, harassment) if they don't fit into their expected roles. Because that is exactly what is happening. Why do you think a woman wears a short skirt? Because all he life she has been tought, over and over again, that she will be more attractive, worthy and praised if she does. If she chooses to wear "non-sexy" clothes and no make-up she will most likely be questioned why and encouraged to at least "make an effort". We all get socially punished if we do not fit in. Most people want to fit in. So we adapt. We reshape ourselves. We model ourselves into men and women.
Again, I do not think that all women should stop wearing make-up, dresses skirts. Or that all men should stop lifting weights, loving mechanics etc. I DO think we need to open our perspectives, open our eyes. We need the right to choose. We need the right to have equal expectations. I expect you to start acting like a decent human being, and treat people as HUMANS, thinking creatures with a great heart and a great brain.


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